Older vs Younger Dudes

Heya fellas,

Or girlssss.. Lebi pilih mana, to have a younger boyfriend, or older boyfriend??? Kan sekarang lagi jaman tuh get a toy boy, macem Asthon & Demi, trus si Madonna ama cowo nya, sapa tau la namanya. Seumur-umur gw cuma pacaran ama cowo yang lebi tua, so, I dont know how does it feel pacaran ama cowo yang lebi muda. But anyway, I've heard or experienced...

Older

Enaknya, bakalan di baby in terus.. Di manja-manja, dan disayang-sayang. Kalo lebi tua, da kerja, asoy geboy bisa dijajanin pula. Huhauhauhau.But! They think they are so superior, and you are so little so obviously (in his mind anyway) he's smarter than you. Kan.. he's older.. living longer life than you, experienced more than you. The problem start pas kalo jadian uda lama. Si cewe juga uda grow a bit, dan engga jadi bego-bego amat seperti dulu, but of course kalo cewenya emang dari sononya da bego, ya hoki laki nya. She can be his FOREVER ego boost. Anyway, the not so bego girls, mulai "oo ternyata ini begini dan itu begitu...". Engga usa lagi the dude have to tell her stuffs, she knows already. Kalo cowonya engga error, he accepts the fact that MAYBE the girl actually able to grasp on SOME concepts more accurate than him. Tapi yang rada mencong-mencong, "the" alpha male... I think the idea will be too overwhelming to him to even picture it in his brain. If he got any.

Younger

Cocok buat cewe-cewe yang demen take care others. Stereotype nya buat cewe-cewe yang punya dede lelaki. Or older sister la. Ato tu cewe emang jiwa keibuan nya sangat besar, jadinya pengen ngurusin orang mulu bawaannya, layaknya ibu-ibu (loh?). On the down side, kadang-kadang lelaki ini masi childish, in some way romatic, in some way annoying. Kadang-kadang masi too loud, masi demennya maen, padahal sang cewe biological clock is ticking very loud in the background. But obviously, the guy is far from ready to make the clock calm down a bit. Dan selebihnya, harap fill in, since I have no experience in this field!

Layaknya sterotype.. Gw se prefer the older one. Hehehe. Secara gw anak bontot, kakak-kakak lebih tua jauh semuanya, I much prefer getting pampered. But then again, ada cowo yang lebih muda yang dewasa *so they said*. So, I keep my mind open. Not that it will gonna affect anything. Haha. So which one do you prefer?

---
So fellas, jangan sampe ketinggalan update2 teori terbaru ya. Subscribe ke blog ini buat selalu diupdate

Dude, why are you so lame?

Heya, fellas

Tau deh, sekarang namanya jaman teknologi. Apa2 perlu pake komputer, perlu pake internet. Research di library di tengah tumpukan buku2 dekil dan berdebu? Basi. Telpon pake telkomsel daripada nge-PING pake Blackberry? Basi.

Tapi beberapa cowok bukannya make internet untuk kegiatan yg bermutu (such as creating a blog *wink*) tapi malah make internet buat bikin pick up line yg tadinya lumayan, jadi ga mutu. 

Dulu kalau ada cowok ngajak kenalan, biasanya mereka nanya: “Hey, can I get your number so we can get to know each other better?” With the right smile, the right look, the right shoes, sipppp....

Tapi sekarang, makin jarang aja cowok yg minta nomor telp cewek pas kenalan. Kalimat yg paling tipikal these days malah: “Hey, what’s your facebook?”

Gah! WTF is this? Cupu. Culun. Pengecut. Ngapain lo minta2 facebook gw? Yg ada ntar lo bisa tau nama lengkap gw, temen2 gw siapa aja, gw baru ngapain kemarin malem, gw mau ngapain besok. Ngasih tau facebook gw k lo sama aja kayak ngundang lo jadi stalker. 

At least kalau gw ngasih nomor hp gw ke lo, tapi besokannya gw jitak pala ngutuk diri nyesel karena setelah ngobrol 5 menit I realize I’d rather watch the grass grow than listen to you talk, gw bisa dengan gampangnya nyuekin hp gw stiap kli liat nomor lo on the display. Kalau lo mulai aneh2 sok pake unknown number, gw tetep dgn gampangnya bisa press NO in the middle of a conversation. I know it’s rude, but hey, I don’t have time to listen to you babble about random shit for half an hour. 

Lha klo lo tau nama asli gw dari facebook? That’s it, I’m dead. Lo bisa nyari2 nomor gw, alamat gw, nama mak babe sepupu sodara secicit setemen sekampung gw dari Yellow Pages or, even easier, my friend list. 

And I KNOW you’re gonna stalk around my albums to see how I look like in all different situations while you decide whether I’m hot enough. 

Oh, please. If you don’t have the balls to ask for a number and opt for an easy "add as a friend" button instead, don’t bother.

LAME.

---
So fellas, jangan sampe ketinggalan update2 teori terbaru ya. Subscribe ke blog ini buat selalu diupdate

Dude Milenium

Heya fellas,

As I mentioned, gw baru pinda negara.. Gw pinda, disebabkan lelakiku. Aka, gw nyamperin dia. And just recently as well, gw dapet kerja baru di sini. Da 1st week gw di sini, gw di rumah ngga ngapain2, so I don't mind doing the house work for him. Clean, laundry, cook and so on and so on.

Anyhow... my point is.....

Dudes ages ago.. You know, they live in a cave. Ugu baba ugu baba. Keluar dari cave, hunting, bunuh kanan dan kiri, kembali ke cave, bikin anak. Bini ngurusin. Bawa pulang hewan mate, bini masakin. And so on and so on....

Dudes not so long ago... They start something call industrial revolution. Trus, mulai la para lelaki berkerja. Bawa pulang duit dan tentu saja, masi bikin anak. Duit kasi bini buat belanja dan lalu masak. Anak, bini ngurusin. Habis itu lelaki lenggang kanan dan kiri. Intinya, just bring home the bacon and thats about it, ya all. Basicly doesn't change much, just more civilised.

Dudes now. They expect the same. Bikin anak, pulang kasi bini duit trus habis itu lenggang kaki. But wait, gimana kalo sang bini bekerja juga? Layaknya diriku? Kita kerja, relatively job yang sama. Yang require brain power and high stress level job. Both bring home the bacon. AND YOU STILL EXPECT THE SAME THINGS!?!?!!?!? Lelaki jaman sekarang murahan! :P Kalo dulu, at least he brings the bacon or hewan watever yang dapet dari hunt mode. Trus kita cewe-cewe kerjaannya paling cuma duduk-duduk di goa, sambil merajut or what ever they do in the goa those days. Engga kudu lari-lari kanan kiri bawa tombak beracun (teracuni otak gw ama TV ne) Sekarang, yea.. dudes still bring the bacon. But so do girls. So, expect less. Do more please.

---
So fellas, jangan sampe ketinggalan update2 teori terbaru ya. Subscribe ke blog ini buat selalu diupdate

Dude's Palm

Heya fellas,

Gw engga tau de bakalan diomelin ama yang punya site apa engga, apa bakalan di ban. BUT, I'm gonna try and write it nevertheless :P Ndu, kalo terlalu *ehem* apus da. Pasrah gw.

I'm gonna sexed up this blog a bit, if anyone don't mind. *evil grin* I'm gonna share my sexual education to the world out there. Hohoho. Pengetahuan ini sangat penting, terutama untuk cewe-cewe. Well, menurut gw doank kali ya.

Di suatu hari, salah satu temen gw yang gila bilang ama gw: "Do you know.. you can estimate the size and shape of man *manhood* by looking at their palm?"

Hmmm... How you ask? :P

KATANYAAAA..

1. kalo cowo tangannya gede, so does his lil brother. and vice versa.
2. kalo jarinya lentik-lentik, berarti beep beep nya kurus, so kalo gendut-gendut - thus it will be likewise.
3. The length will be from the middle finger down to the base of the palm. Approximately.

Dan dia bilang, SUDAH TERBUKTI. Mind you, ini more than one person has clarified and said this estimation theory has proven. It has changed my entire outlook when I see a man's palm :P How about you? Huahuahuhaua.

---
So fellas, jangan sampe ketinggalan update2 teori terbaru ya. Subscribe ke blog ini buat selalu diupdate

Eyes and Hotpants

Heya fellas,

Pakaian wajib gw sehari-hari adalah, celana pendek dan kaos. Atau sebutan seksi nya ... hotpants and blouse. Tau donk nyamannya pake shorts? apalagi cuaca lagi superb panas. Gak ada maksud untuk mengundang sama sekali. Kalo gw mau ngundang, pasti ngirim undangan. Tapi itu loh kalo pake hotpants, susah banget mau bikin lawan bicara (dudes) fokus karena Matanya jelalatan!

*pandang mata gw 2 detik*

*telinga shut down* lalu

*pandang kaki gw 3 detik*

....dan berulang-ulang...

Kenapa yah mata nya itu gak bisa dicontrol?
Padahal udah sering liat cewek naked juga (misal istri sendiri ato di bokep). Coba deh guys latih mata anda... kalo kebetulan ada lawan bicara kamu seorang cewek yang pake hotpants, tutup mata anda! Dan buka telinga lebar2.
Jangan kampungan, okay?

---
So fellas, jangan sampe ketinggalan update2 teori terbaru ya. Subscribe ke blog ini buat selalu diupdate

Dude's Pride

Heya fellas,

I'm BACK! Setelah gw pindahan dan settle ke negara dan kota baru, I'm ready to roll again. Anyhow, gw dari pertama selalu pengen ngomongin soal man's pride. Ego lelaki yang sudah terkenal. In a good dose, I think it's actually make the particular species very hot. In an excess, errr.. Nothing good if done excessively.

Example ONE. Tau kan yang namanya eye toy? 5 taon yang lalu, so called eye toys lagi boom boom get banget kan ya.. So, I get one. Maen bersama lelakiku. Secara kamar gw sempit, gw berlutut di ranjang dan dia berdiri. For eye toy yang penting muka doank ada ketangkep ma kamera, selebihnya lo begerak ke kanan dan ke kiri suka-suka lo. Menyedihkannya kalo eye toy, muka lo ilang dari kotak muka dia (ga ketangkep kameranya, so you basicly cannot move your face around), langsung engga bekerja your character. ANYWAY, kita maen lomba lari. I was winning. Gw da menggerakkan tangan gw secepat mungkin (dengan gaya orang berlari gitu.. biarpun gw berlutut). And then suddenly!! I felt someone's hand on my shoulder and push me, made me fall to my bed. Since muka gw ilang dari kamera, character gw jadinya berenti. Ya, dan dia trus berlari loh (pura-puranya), dan menang (lah gw da jato) -_-' KIASU to the fullest oey! (engga mo kala, rd.)

Example TWO. Ketika saya muda... lebi muda dari sekarang.. gw demen banget maen pool. Setiap hari. I can spend 4 hours at least everyday. Aseli, gw rasa tu tempat pool kaya gara-gara gw. Anyway, ini cowo pertama kali mo maen ama gw.
Me: "Are you good?"
Him: "I think so. Well, I dont recall any girl beat me in pool"
Me: (wa, jago donk ya ni orang, kudu maen serius ne gw)
He lost (lah dia engga jago sama sekali gitu loooooooooo). Trus bete. engga mo maen ama gw lagi. SORE LOSER!!!!!

Jadi either, engga mo kala or engga bole kala. Againts women ya. Gw ada satu lagi mala temen cowo engga suka gw tease. Tapi kalo temen cowonya yang tease dia, exactly the same thing, it's ok. I like to hang out with guys, karena kan kalo lelaki bisa maen ceng-cengan, ejek-mengejek, trus ketawa-ketiwi. Kalo ama cewe, kan itu bagian sayang menyanyang, curhat-curhatan dan sejenisnya (almost to none my girfriends I can tease around). I need to release my anger someway donk (seakan gw punya temen lelaki cuma for lash out. hohoho). Kalo engga bisa gw tease, apa serunya gw hang out ama dia?

Gw masi banyak banget examples yang menyebalkan tentang this ego of man. Sometime, I stroke this side of man to my advantage.

Example:
Me: "o gosh, you're so nice and toit (tight, rd.)" -
Dude: "(tersipu-sipu) Hehehe. Iya donk. Look (show off his muscle)
Me: "UuuuUUU" (Sambil pegang-pegang)
Dude: *demen gw pegang*
HUAUHAUHAUHUA

So....Dude, please put your ego in the right dose, in the right time and in the right situation. FOR FULL EFFECT. for your own good.

---
So fellas, jangan sampe ketinggalan update2 teori terbaru ya. Subscribe ke blog ini buat selalu diupdate

The Phone Dude

Heya fellas,

Tadi pagi gw ngantri di Teller BCA. Alangkah bahagia nya gw wktu tau in the same room ada seorang pria yg kira2 bisaaaa lah gw date. And he queed right behind me. I never love queeing as much as today! In my imagination gw bisa ..................... pura-pura pingsan ....... dan jatoh ke belakang............................. annnnnd he catches me........................ ngasih napas buatan ............. mouth to mouth .................... etc etc.. HAHAHAHA. (This is not the way I plan to write this post .. melenceng abesshh..).

Okeh okeh kembaliii ke laptop,, so he was on the phone lah cerita nya .. antrian yg lumayan panjang.. dan gw berharap doi segera hang up the phone and minjem pena ama cew yg di depan nya ........ which is PINKLAYDEE getho loh! (Duh Ping! enough with ur fantasy!)

After minutes passing by ... gw nguping ... at first gw pkr neh cow lagi diteror sm seseorang temen lama.. ngomongin komentar2 di facebook, etc etc .. boring boring ... .. gw udah ganti posisi berdiri gw dari gaya flirting sampe ke gaya jutek .. and he's still on that bloody PHONE! Soon enough I could pretend falling asleep and still ... jatoh ke belakang (ngarep!).

Tiba-tiba doi blg : "I swear! I called u last night at 6.30 precisely."

Wooww... bahagia gw akhirnya doi beranteman jg sama cew bawel di telpon itu.

Tapi a minute later doi malah sibuk comforting si cew bawel. Then my whole wall comes tumbling down............T.T........he's courting her.

Lesson of the day is Cowok yg lagi courting itu :
*bae'
*nga pelit pulsa (making IDD call pulak itu)
*Suka ngasih perhatian yg berlebih2 kpd target
*merelakan conversation nya jadi konsumsi publik

To sum up my analysis : this dude is worth to keep :)

---
So fellas, jangan sampe ketinggalan update2 teori terbaru ya. Subscribe ke blog ini buat selalu diupdate