Angel vs Squirrel

Heya fellas,

Di hari yang kelam di my side of my world (ujan es batu bo), otak gw tiba-tiba muncul tipe lelaki yang bisa membantu meng-identify, dia jatuh di category apa. Over generalisation, cowo itu ada 2 tipe dengan transisi. Satu angel dude (cowo baeeeeeeeeeeeeeee banget), dan squirrel dude (squirrel = bajing**, fill in the blank).

Angel dude
Ini tipe cowo yang gentleman abies tanpa maksud. emang dari sononya bae. bisa disalahkan dengan tebar pesona, padahal engga maksud. Yang kalo ngajakin pegi, mo clubbing kek apa cuma keluar, dikarenakan he thinks you're a potential good friend, not because he wants to get inside your pants. Setia, perhatian, pengertian, tapi suka bolot, engga tau how to treat a girl. Engga begitu ngerti gimana caranya luluhin cewe. Or to be romantic. Gw ada beberapa teman cowo seperti ini, yang sampe gw kasi tau engga bole baeeeee banget ama cewe yang bukan cewe nya sendiri, kalo engga cewe dia beneran bisa cape ati. Ato engga, itu cewe yang dibaein salah kaprah.Yang diputusin ama cewenya karena dia terlalu bae (kasian ga seeee).

Squirrel dude


Selalu bae dengan maksud. Mulutnya manieeesssss banget. Bikin cewe mudah meleleh. But full of bull, aka banyak boongnya. Yang patut di jauhi, tapi bingungnya selalu the ones that get the girls. Gonta-ganti cewe seperti ganti kolor. I reckon because they seems edgy. Ato mungkin chicks like the idea of menakluklan squirrel dudes? Ato emang rencana dari sononya cuma buat maen-maen? What do you think? I know one ultimate squirrel. Dan gw sempet kepikiran untuk go for him. Secara temen-temen cewe gw yang perna coba, bilang dia itu jago banget. On bed. Hm..... Hohoho. Tapi I don't have enough guts to go for it, 1st of all, karena dia pasti membawa banyak kuman dari segala macam negara, 2nd of all, bisa digaruk ama nyak gw ama garukan taman (SO GATAL NGANA EH!!! *nyak gw menado).

Transition period
Angel to Squirrel >> Ini anak bae-bae yang depressi engga dapet cewe, karena as I mentioned above, squirrel dude meraup semua cewe-cewe. Jadi coba terlihat edgy.. dengan merokok, yang udah minta (engga beli, kan baru mulai...), trus cuma diisep trus dibuang, engga dihirup ke dalam. BUANG-BUANG ROKOK ORANG! Yang sok-sok ngajak mari minum, trus minum cuma satu shot/gelas, langsung tepar. Ato ga, yang try to be hot, tapi dandannya menjijikan (kemeja dibuka, bulu dadanya lari ke mana-mana), trus ngomongnya not smooth, tapi sleazy.

Squirrel is a born. Not a made.

Squirrel to Angel >> Yang trully squirrel, never gonna happen. Yang happen, biasanya ketemu cewe yang bener-bener bisa lurusin dia. Masi suka flirt-flirt tanpa alasan yang jelas, just for fun. Masi suka keluar bermain-main (minum, dll) kadang-kadang. Tapi karena udah "ketangkep" jadinya terkontrol.

What you think? :D

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Cleaning Time...

Heya fellas,

Well, this is generally speaking ya.. Mengapa lelaki itu males banget beberes? Ini mungkin lebih applicable buat dudes yang tinggal di luar negeri ya, di mana pembantu itu extinct species yang mahalnya amit amit. It's like:

(Typical scenario)
Girl: Say, beresin donk tu baju
Dude: Bisa beresin ga?
Girl: (Whaaatttt!?!? Gw pacar apa pembantu!! *emosi*) Engga, beresin sendiri napa?
Dude: Kamu tu ya.. Dimintain tolong aza susah banget. Kamu tu sayang ga si sebenarnya sama aku?
Girl: (cari ribut ni orang..) Kayaknya uda sering si aku beresin, kamu sekali kali napa?
Dude: Tapi kamu kan cewe aku...

Good point. Back to original point. Pacar apa pembantu? Pacar rangkap pembantu? Hadouken trus dilempar dari balcony apartment. Mind you, I'm not the super clean and tidy type. Relatively wajar buat cewe deh ya. Atau malah under the normal girl standard sometime (yang pasti keadaan di atas, NOT my own experience:P). Asal ga berantakan, baju, barang dll di tempatnya, engga berdebu-debu banget, I think that should be fine...

As I said before.. engga semuanya memang cowo males beberes. Flatmate gw bersihnya ampun-ampun. Tiap minggu dustingnya pake tissue basahnya Johnson&Johnson bo. Biar hygenic katanya. Maybe he's mistaken the table with baby's bottom... Baju gw yang gw lempar di sofa dilipetin pula. I think, dapet cowo yang kayak gini susah juga. Karena terlalu bersih dan rapi, mau up to his standard juga bisa ngos-ngosan. Kecuali kalo cewenya sama clean craze juga. Compatible deh ya...

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Sorry seems to be the easiest word.

Heya fellas,

Titlenya dari lagu "Sorry..... seems to be the hardest word..." Well, not so for most dudes I think. Well, gw baru baca this article about a guy when they say:

"I'm sorry."
When a guy says this, there's a good chance that he's more confused than contrite. "I've apologized to tons of women, and not once was I perfectly clear on what I'd done wrong, I was, however, totally clear on the fact that I was expected to apologize."

Sometimes, something that so obviously menyebalkan buat cewe-cewe, para lelaki has no idea, why it makes us so upset. Lemot? Another insensitive aspect of man? Selama gw berantem ama sang bun (bf), dia engga perna bilang "I'm sorry for what I did", dia bilangnya "I'm sorry for making you feel that way." Berarti intinya dia engga merasa kalo dia itu salah. Engga berasa kalo apa yang dia lakukan or said, itu bikin gw naek darah (At this point, gw rasa-rasa pengen gigit-gigit tu orang).

And this phenomena happens ama temen gw juga. Dia ada berantem gede ama cowonya, so as act of truce, cowonya kirim bouqet of flowers to her workplace. Ada kartunya "I'm sorry, I love you". Langsung lumer donk temen gw (cewe mana yang engga bakalan langsung jadi jelly with such a romantic gesture). Eh, pas cowonya ditanya later on ama cewenya, "Do you actually know why i got really angry?", cowonya bengong. tut tut tut. so............. the fight continued.

If you don't even know why we got so upset, then there's a very big chance later on you gonna repeat your mistake dan berantem lagi gara-gara hal yang sama. In that case, mengapa engga take times and energy untuk mengerti or at least engga usa ngerti da why we chicks see it as WRONG, asal tau aza what you did wrong. Jadi engga bakalan ada repetition in the future? YES, YOU, LELAKI, I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU!!
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Dude - Insensitive

Heya fellas,

Mungkin udah terlalu banyak information out there where ada over generalisation, kalo cewe ngomong iya, can be yes can be no. Kalo ngomong engga, can be yes can be no. (Kasian d lo para cowo2, yes I do feel sorry buat cowo yang dapet cewe TERLALU confusing:P).

BUT, not all girls like that, most girls masi sensible being. Sometimes, menurut gw, you dudes need to put the answer into context. Yea, I know... You're dudes are not mind reader (secara cowo gw selalu ngomongnya: "Hunny!! I'm not bloody mind reader!"). It's not like the dudes in chick theory bilang: Cewe2 suka nuntut cowo2 buat baca pikiran nya. But at least body language reader? Face reader? Mood reader? Voice tone reader?

Anyhow, this discussion started.. One day in my lala land. Gw dan lelaki tercinta (Bun) memutuskan untuk jalan-jalan ke Gold Coast via Brisbane. Anyhow, it was around 38°-40°C.

Humid like hell.
Matahari bersinar cerah meriah.
Gosong banget-banget.
Engga ada mobil.
Kudu jalan.
Panas-panas.
Cape.
Lengket.
Laper.

In short, perfect mood banget.. -_-' So, setelah jalan sepanjang hari, come dinner time. Ada restaurant sepanjang jalan kenangan di China Town. Dia tanya gw mo yang mana, gw bilang mana aza. I don't mind.

1st resto
Bun: How about this one?
Me: I dont mind.
Bun: Hm.. ok, let's have a look at other ones

2nd resto
Bun:How about this one?
Me: I dont mind
Bun: Hm... (dan berjalan ke resto berikutnya. Btw, ini resto semuanya samping2an, berderet2, ada kali around 20-30 resto sepanjang jalan dan jual relatively makanan yang sami mawon)

3rd resto
Bun: How about this one?
Me: I..DONT.. MIND!! (setenga teriak dan melotot)
Bun: OK OK! We eat here then! *ngedumel sendiri* (dengan tampang nyolot dan menyebalkan)

Udah dibilang dari pertama, I don't mind.. Just choose. And hurry. Cant you see my state being? Kalo gw engga teriak, mo sampe resto ke berapa baru dia decide? And then you dude say, qta cewe-cewe moody.

Put into context donk guys.. Be sensitive and look for the signs!

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Dude - First Class Citizen (?!)

Heya fellas,

As mentioned before, gw mo discuss about double standard society. Coba de ya, ini just some of my examples yang gw find intriguing (feel free to add). In the term of:

1. Gonta ganti pacar
Dude: Wa.. Jago bener tu cowo. Kudu learn some of his tricks ne.
Chick: Wa.. Ho. *beep beep beep* (some other censored names called)

2. Rokok
Dude: Acceptable. Normal. Even kadang-kadang di view sebagai: keren/manly.
Chick: Cewe engga bener.

3. Jago gaming
Dude: Normal. Paling banter dikatain: geek
Chick: Ih, aneh. Paling parah dikatain: freak (gw perna gilaaaaaaa -_-')

4. High level of alcohol consumption
Dude: "Damn.. Tu org kuat bener. Salut gw man. Masi berdiri after so many shots and no jack pot."
Chick: *yet again* cewe engga bener, cewe gampang, dll.

5. House cleaning
Dude: Fall into category "doing something extra"
Chick: Sudah seharusnya

6. Pacarnya not ok. Diri sendiri not too bad.
Dude: Koq tu cowo bisa mau ya? *bertanya-tanya*
Chick: Ah, pasti cowonya kaya.

7. Chase career
Dude: Sudah seharusnya
Chick: What for? Ntar kalo hamil, punya anak juga harus slow down. Jagain anak, urusin keluarga. *regardless even when cewenya earn more, smarter, have a bigger prospect of career advancement*

8. Ngejar cewe/cowo
Dude: Ya kudu la cowo ngejar cewe. Sudah kodrat. Kalo engga dapet.. Ya, yang penting uda usaha
Chick: Da kegatelan kli ya tu cewe? Sini gw garukin pake garpu BBQ. Kalo engga dapet.. merendahkan harga diri dan martabat.

Why o why? Are we chicks second class citizen in this world?? Maybe this why: The Problem of the Hot Chicks answer: since something society's view as keren or normal if done by dudes, jadi PROBLEM if done by chicks (whether hot or not). Done ama yang not aza diributin, gimana done ama yang hot. Emosi emosi emosi. Padahal uda emansipasi. Women can do what men can. Emang, some things maybe men are better in. Like reading the map (but then again, ada GPS) and parallel parking (bias opinion, based on personal shortcoming).

Personally, untungnya my other half, even though Asian, dia lahir di luar. Jadi engga gitu-gitu amat pikirinnya soal hal-hal yang di atas. Hell, he's better in cleaning and cooking bo. Pas gw tanya, how about one day gw earn more than him, dia bilang, bagus donk, dia bisa nyante-nyante maen game di rumah, gw kerja (swap place, lol). What I try to say, engga semua orang emang punya pikiran yang di mentioned above. Tapi bagi orang-orang yang masi pikirannya stuck di medieval era, which is banyak bener (yg gw tau anyway), this view is still held high. NOT FAIR!!

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Shallow Dude Theory

Heya fellas,

This is my first blog writing here.. Hopefully, it’s enjoyable :) I’m interested buat nulis di sini since men always have their ways to keep fascinating me. Mentally. Physically :P

Anyhow, 1^st idea menulis something about dudes and their clan muncul waktu weekend kemaren ini, pas gw ada jalan with my male friend. Dia currently single and “self declared” not looking. (yea, rite. Ngomongnya doank, I think. Secara engga ada yang mao aza :P)

Anyway... we got into this blonde vs brain conversation.

Me: Lo lebi pilih, punya cewe cakep tapi bego. Apa pinter tapi jelek?

Dude: Bisa pinter dan cakep ga?

Me: Engga. Engga ada di pilihannya gitu loh!

Dude: Hm.... Cakep tapi bego aza de kalo gt...

Me: (Dalam ati.. OMG, your point has gone hit rock bottom, klo bisa jadi minus. Pantesan not looking..)

Of course, gw tanya, mengapa begini dan mengapa begitu. Dia bilang, kalo bego bisa diajarin pinter. Kalo jelek, mahal ganti muka jadi cakep. By that stage of conversation, his point was minus 100++ Emang, reasonable argument. Tapi, kalo cewenya telat? Cewenya emang dodol banget? Amit-amit IQ rendah bener? Qta joke, ketawa ketiwi sekarang, tu cewe baru get it another 10-20 seconds? Da kayak telpon overseas pake kartu telpon murah aza, ada delay nya. Engga cape ati apa?

Ini ada related ama chick theory punya blog yang mempertanyakan mengapa cewe cakep mao ama cowo jelek :P Kalo tu cowo kaya, pasti tu cowo juga tau donk, kalo cewenya cakep gt most probably after his money. Gw perna baca buku biography an anchor yang pernah wawancara Hugh Hefner dari Playboy.

Anchor: “What is your most succesful pick up lines?”

Hef: “ Hi, I’m Hugh Hefner”

He knows. Women after his money. And as long as he’s comfortable with it, both sides happy kan? Cewenya kecipratan duit, lelakinya bisa mejeng dengan cewe cakep. Tapi jarang-jarang, hampir non existence perhaps, cowo cakep mao ama cewe jelek. Engga pusing deh otaknya sepinter apa, muka hancur, semuanya pun dianggap lebur. But then, kalo cewenya kaya? Simpenan tante-tante most likely? Hahaha.

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