I spy with my little eye...

Heya fellas,

It got hot in Toronto last weekend, so berbekal kaca mata hitam cukup seceng cukup adem gw angkat kaki menuju ke patio to safely people-watch.

Based on intense observation, I can safely say, this is not a theory. This is a fact.

Dudes have a superb neck flexibility 

But........ ONLY at the sight of cewek lucu, cewek cantik, cewek seksi, boobs, ass, pouty lips and legs that go on for miles. Dijamin cowok bakal mampu untuk memutar leher MINIMAL 180 derajat ke arah mana pun cewek itu pergi. Kapan pun, di mana pun, sedang apa pun.  

Tapi kalau pas diminta tolong ("pass me the salt, please"), boro2 itu leher muter. Yang ada malah ga bereaksi saking celongo-nya ngeliatin 34C-27-36 yg barusan lewat pake rok mini. 

Dudes, with their selective neck flexibility, selective sight, selective hearing. Perlu tuh kayaknya ditimpuk pake sendal.  

Dude - First Class Citizen (?!)

Heya fellas,

As mentioned before, gw mo discuss about double standard society. Coba de ya, ini just some of my examples yang gw find intriguing (feel free to add). In the term of:

1. Gonta ganti pacar
Dude: Wa.. Jago bener tu cowo. Kudu learn some of his tricks ne.
Chick: Wa.. Ho. *beep beep beep* (some other censored names called)

2. Rokok
Dude: Acceptable. Normal. Even kadang-kadang di view sebagai: keren/manly.
Chick: Cewe engga bener.

3. Jago gaming
Dude: Normal. Paling banter dikatain: geek
Chick: Ih, aneh. Paling parah dikatain: freak (gw perna gilaaaaaaa -_-')

4. High level of alcohol consumption
Dude: "Damn.. Tu org kuat bener. Salut gw man. Masi berdiri after so many shots and no jack pot."
Chick: *yet again* cewe engga bener, cewe gampang, dll.

5. House cleaning
Dude: Fall into category "doing something extra"
Chick: Sudah seharusnya

6. Pacarnya not ok. Diri sendiri not too bad.
Dude: Koq tu cowo bisa mau ya? *bertanya-tanya*
Chick: Ah, pasti cowonya kaya.

7. Chase career
Dude: Sudah seharusnya
Chick: What for? Ntar kalo hamil, punya anak juga harus slow down. Jagain anak, urusin keluarga. *regardless even when cewenya earn more, smarter, have a bigger prospect of career advancement*

8. Ngejar cewe/cowo
Dude: Ya kudu la cowo ngejar cewe. Sudah kodrat. Kalo engga dapet.. Ya, yang penting uda usaha
Chick: Da kegatelan kli ya tu cewe? Sini gw garukin pake garpu BBQ. Kalo engga dapet.. merendahkan harga diri dan martabat.

Why o why? Are we chicks second class citizen in this world?? Maybe this why: The Problem of the Hot Chicks answer: since something society's view as keren or normal if done by dudes, jadi PROBLEM if done by chicks (whether hot or not). Done ama yang not aza diributin, gimana done ama yang hot. Emosi emosi emosi. Padahal uda emansipasi. Women can do what men can. Emang, some things maybe men are better in. Like reading the map (but then again, ada GPS) and parallel parking (bias opinion, based on personal shortcoming).

Personally, untungnya my other half, even though Asian, dia lahir di luar. Jadi engga gitu-gitu amat pikirinnya soal hal-hal yang di atas. Hell, he's better in cleaning and cooking bo. Pas gw tanya, how about one day gw earn more than him, dia bilang, bagus donk, dia bisa nyante-nyante maen game di rumah, gw kerja (swap place, lol). What I try to say, engga semua orang emang punya pikiran yang di mentioned above. Tapi bagi orang-orang yang masi pikirannya stuck di medieval era, which is banyak bener (yg gw tau anyway), this view is still held high. NOT FAIR!!

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So fellas, jangan sampe ketinggalan update2 teori terbaru ya. Subscribe ke blog ini buat selalu diupdate

Shallow Dude Theory

Heya fellas,

This is my first blog writing here.. Hopefully, it’s enjoyable :) I’m interested buat nulis di sini since men always have their ways to keep fascinating me. Mentally. Physically :P

Anyhow, 1^st idea menulis something about dudes and their clan muncul waktu weekend kemaren ini, pas gw ada jalan with my male friend. Dia currently single and “self declared” not looking. (yea, rite. Ngomongnya doank, I think. Secara engga ada yang mao aza :P)

Anyway... we got into this blonde vs brain conversation.

Me: Lo lebi pilih, punya cewe cakep tapi bego. Apa pinter tapi jelek?

Dude: Bisa pinter dan cakep ga?

Me: Engga. Engga ada di pilihannya gitu loh!

Dude: Hm.... Cakep tapi bego aza de kalo gt...

Me: (Dalam ati.. OMG, your point has gone hit rock bottom, klo bisa jadi minus. Pantesan not looking..)

Of course, gw tanya, mengapa begini dan mengapa begitu. Dia bilang, kalo bego bisa diajarin pinter. Kalo jelek, mahal ganti muka jadi cakep. By that stage of conversation, his point was minus 100++ Emang, reasonable argument. Tapi, kalo cewenya telat? Cewenya emang dodol banget? Amit-amit IQ rendah bener? Qta joke, ketawa ketiwi sekarang, tu cewe baru get it another 10-20 seconds? Da kayak telpon overseas pake kartu telpon murah aza, ada delay nya. Engga cape ati apa?

Ini ada related ama chick theory punya blog yang mempertanyakan mengapa cewe cakep mao ama cowo jelek :P Kalo tu cowo kaya, pasti tu cowo juga tau donk, kalo cewenya cakep gt most probably after his money. Gw perna baca buku biography an anchor yang pernah wawancara Hugh Hefner dari Playboy.

Anchor: “What is your most succesful pick up lines?”

Hef: “ Hi, I’m Hugh Hefner”

He knows. Women after his money. And as long as he’s comfortable with it, both sides happy kan? Cewenya kecipratan duit, lelakinya bisa mejeng dengan cewe cakep. Tapi jarang-jarang, hampir non existence perhaps, cowo cakep mao ama cewe jelek. Engga pusing deh otaknya sepinter apa, muka hancur, semuanya pun dianggap lebur. But then, kalo cewenya kaya? Simpenan tante-tante most likely? Hahaha.

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So fellas, jangan sampe ketinggalan update2 teori terbaru ya. Subscribe ke blog ini buat selalu diupdate

Wanna play?

Heya fellas,

I'm expanding a bit on the post below (lo kaya bisa baca pikiran gw, Ping!)

Toys and games. What is it about dudes and their MANIC obsession with these two? 

Unlike the bad habit of ngompol that naturally stops at a certain age, toying and gaming seems to be a life long disease. Malahan penyakit yang satu ini makin lama malah makin kronis. Yang tadinya cuma addict main gameboy, lama2 mulai merambah ke playstation, ke online game, ke electronic gadgets, ke gitar, ke mobil, ke saham and even, you know it, chicks. 

Kalau udah bosen sama Jessica the guitar and Bianca the car, dudes start playing games with the real Jessicas and Biancas. Mulai dari game terkenal titled "how long should I wait to call after the first date" sampai game aneh2 including "I really really like you today, but I'm not so sure about tomorrow" and "how long can I disappear until I drive her crazy". And when boredom hits one more time, dudes start picking up a new game: juggling. Juggling more than 1 girl, that is. 

Just like dudes get obsessed with going up the level of difficulty in a playstation game, they also want to get up the level of difficulty in playing the juggling chicks game. From 1 to 2 to 3 to 4 to... the day they get caught. 

Caci maki. Gampar. Putus. Minta maaf. Ngaku kapok. Minta maaf lagi. Kasih kado. Minta balik. Diterima.

But dudes will gun for the OK button when asked "do you want to start a new game?" at the end of a game they lost. With no second thought, without further ado. And it starts all over again.

Dasar penyakit kronis. Susah deh sembuhnya.  

Cowok Plintar Plintir = Banci!

Heya fellas,

The Dudes at Chick Theory always complaining about us girls being uncool by 'tarik ulur'. At one point, it may be exhausting for them. But what the hell do they lose? Just some time right?! That's no big deal...
Now I'm goin to point out dudes yang nga bisa make up his mind, sedikit persamaan dengan 'tarik ulur' bukan?

So there is a dude hu givs u tons of signals. U always go out together. Dimana ada kamu, disitu ada dia. He plays with ur hair. He's like ur full-time driver. He tells u everything...BUT his feelings, of course. After several months, u thought maybe IT'S ON. Like lo udah jadian unofficially. Coz lo yakin bener, even semua temen2 lo udah nganggep both of u are a perfect couple. Like DEFINITELY.

After it goes on for a several months, dia masih belom nembak lo. Don't wonder so much gals. Cuman ada dua kemungkinan kenapa dia nga nembak lo :
ONE-he has no balls (which is tolerable)
TWO-he's caught on love bi-polar disorder, hari ini suka, besok biasa aja.

Urgh plin plan banget! And u know what? Sikap kaya' begini is totally intolerrable. Cowok ini udah makes u feel u're his everything and nothing at the same time. Yang mulai? Dia. Yang bikin lo fall in loph? Dia. Yang bakal bikin lo patah hati ketika dia bilang "gw cuman nganggep lo temen" juga DIA! JERK!

Girls, don't fall for this kinda of trap, aight? Enak di dia. Sakit di kita.

Cowok : x - rated

Heya fellas,

Excuse me, uhm tp gw mau sex-it-up a lil bit at this post..hehe.. So kids under-age, if u're reading this, click ctrl+x right away, aight? Dun be notti!
Gw curious nih.. Gmn ya cara nya nentuin karakter2 cowok di kategori x ini.
So i'm gonna give it a few shots here based on my chicks fwen's lil stories.

Cowok tipe sex-maniac :
asal di kmr lgs deh tangan n monyong nya kmn2. Maunya 3 x a day. 7 days a week.

Cowok virgin :
Hmmmphhh how do we tell a dude's virginity yah? Secara walopun mrk nga pnh ngalamin se-engga2nya udh ntn bokep bertaon2. Jadi can't really tell deh. Unless mukanya over-excited...lol dsr kampungan.

Cowok yg sok gentleman tapi ngebet:
First of, sll dimulai dr kissing2an dulu. Trus klu udh mulai steamy....dy stop! And dgn muka 50% serius 50% genit ... ask : 'are u sure?' (and ngarep ceweknya gak ngomong apa2 tp lgs strip down).

Cowok yg tertarik dgn sesama jenis:
he sees naked chick as a form of art. Maybe pohon jambu malah. Nothing a tree can do can turn him on.

Anyone cares to add?

Cowok Pelit - Yuckz!

Heya fellas,

Udah kodratnya kali ya cowok pays for everything and menhujani kita kita ceweks dengan segudang kado-kado manis. Bukan cuman bayarin makan (dimana dia yg biasanya juga makan jauh lebih banyak dari kita ceweks) hehuehe.

Nah pnh nga ngalamin : kalo lagi nge-date di mall, dan nga sengaja kita ceweks ngeliat tote bag yang superb gorgeous. And and secara nga sadar, kita udah drooling di depan etalase dengan mulut menganga…….trus cowok kita malah nyeret kita pergi dari butik itu…and say..

Dude : duhhh, tas kamu itu udah buanyak buanget babe
Chick : but ..but.. many is never enough!
Dude : tapi 2 minggu yang lalu kamu baru beli tas kan?
Chick : SO? Masuk aja yuk, nanya harganya ajah, plisssss!
Dude : FINE!
Chick : Mba, tasnya berapaan?
Mba : Rp. 500.000,-
Dude : BUSYETT..
Chick : sshhhh…haduhh pengennnnn…
Dude : pek go ya mba! (→ pek go / seratus limpul)
Mba : (dalam ati : njritt.. PELIT amat neh cowok)
Chick : ini di MALL hun, bukan PASAR PAGI
Dude : dua ratus deh gw bayar CASH
Mba : *smirk* (udah nawar, mamer lagi, emank gw blg bs CREDIT apa?)
Dude : besok cari aja di mangdu ya babe
Chick : (cembetut deh seharian)

.. believe it or not, THIS happens a LOT di butik gw. Tipe cowok ky’ begini neh malu-maluin abisss di depan spg. Pake nawar lagi udah tau ituh di MALL.

Come on dudes, u gotta work harder to satisfy your chicks. Bila perlu, ngamen deh sekalian..

Cowok as Accessory

Heya fellas,

Pleasure to meet you all! I'm excited about contributing to this blog. I tend to have no leniency towards the testosterone-driven population, so get ready to be judged, dudes!

Kidding!

So, first theory:

Cowok as Accessory.

Actually, cowok bisa jadi THE accessory.

Pernah ga lo pergi ke suatu tempat dengan penampilan cukup pas2an (say... after 8 hours back to back classes on less than 4 hours sleep), tapi banyak banget yg ngeliatin lo dengan pandangan takjub atau setengah sirik karena lo lagi jalan with a good looking/well-dressed/put-together/non-creepy looking guy?

Cewek (yang di blog sebelah dibilang sakaw perhatian) suka tuh dapet perhatian dari orang lain dengan minimal effort. Cewek pasti senyum2/cengar cengir bangga waktu jalan sama cowok who's the perfect accessory.

Masalahnya, kenapa cowok2 kebanyakan sukanya pake combo andalan: sendal jepit swallow + kaos lusuh + rambut kusut yg bikin cewek2 manyun ya? Padahal when a chick feels like the dude she's with is the only accessory she needs, then she won't take freaking long to get ready, won't take 3 hours to shop (ok, maybe 2), dan pastinya kebawelan seperti "aduh, kamu tuh ga bisa pake baju yg rapih dikit, ya?" bakal lebih jarang mampir di kuping lo. Sama2 untung kan?

So dudes, sisir tuh rambut, cukur tuh jenggot, pake tuh deodorant, cuci tuh kaos kaki. Be THE accessory of choice. Until we see the next gorgeous pair of shoes, at least.

Blog ini bakal tetep dijalanin :D

Heya fellas,

gue udah ada kontributor baru dan orangnya adalahhhhhhh......
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...
..
....
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adek gue sendiri

HAHAHAHAHAH

no seriously, dia author yang bagus, orangnya very nice walaupun kadang a bit cynical dan critical heheheh

but I'm happy now, cuz blog ini bisa jadi jalan

have a great day, fellas. We'll run this blog soon

Pengumuman penting

Heya fellas,

gue juga down banget pas denger ini... Emmy Chen mengundurkan diri dari admin dan author dari chick-theory dan dude-theory. Praktis kontributor tetap blog ini jadi hilang.

Gue udah ajak 1 cewek lagi dari blog sebelah untuk ikut kontribusi. Dia mau tapi ga janji bisa kontribusi penuh. Sedangkan gue tau, admin blog teman-curhatku dan chick-theory ga bisa kontribusi penuh di sini (secara batangan semua).

Jadi untuk sementara project blog ini gue tahan dulu (ON HOLD) sampe gue nemu kontributor tetap. Kalo ada yang merasa qualified, boleh contact gue di ceo@forexfaculty.net. But 1 thing, persyaratan gue untuk kontributor blog ini cukup berat :)

Have a good day fellas

cowo ≠ romantis

Heya fellas,

I just wonder about guys..

Is it so hard to be a romantic guy?

Apa cowo yang ga romantis itu ga sayang sama cewenya?
I mean, kalo sayang kan pasti kepikiran, how to make the girl happy?

Gue sampe geleng2 kalo ngeliat cowo yang ga berinisiatif, atau ga ada romantis2nya blaaazzz...
(=___=)

First post

Heya fellas,

blog ini akan diluncurkan minggu depan pada hari Senin, 12 April 2009

Watch out!