Friday, August 7, 2009
Cowok Mentel 2
(Just keepin it short) that previous theory drives me to this next one, somehoe I don't realise the case is dudes don't quite like 'SERIOUS' girls .. it's too much for them to bear,, mungkin takut tersaingi kepintarannya. LOL. That's probably why they prefer idiot-looking bimbo yg giggling at everything they say.
So who is the dumbo here???
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Thursday, July 30, 2009
Cowok mentel
To the point aja deh. I guess the reason why I don't get hooked up in an instant is because ... gw sok kalem (sometimes), sok tegar (many times), sok kuat (mostly), sok wanita (all the time). Gw notice banget kalo cewek yg act cute, soft-tone, dan lemes-lembut lebih gampang narik perhatian cowo.
Terbukti banget sama a new acquaintance of mine yg suka cengar cengir, cengegesan at every sentence. 'xixixixi this' 'xixixixi that' ... flickering eyelashes at every sentence. Nah.. my every man-friend ask for her number at first meeting alrd. Kalo dibilang cakep.. gak cakep-cakep banget. Tapi karena sikap tuh cewe' yg act cute, cowo menilai dia 10 from scale 1 to 10 and 10 being highest.
This evidence then lead us to the fact that mata cowo hanya bisa melihat outer beauty. Pokoknya kalo ada cew cute, pasti pada sibuk minta di hook up. Outer beauty. Act cute. Mentel.
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Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Sensitive Dudes
You know, gw demennya macam cowo-cowo macho. Yang menyenangkan untuk diliat, and most probably menyenangkan untuk dipegang-pegang. Hohohoh. Yang ada stubles dikit-dikit, pokoknya yang agak-agak rough look, but take care of their appearance. So kinda, he actually tries to look good, but it looks like effortless. Well, kalo ini ma, apply to both girls and guys la ya. Jadi fusion between metro and real macho guy *emangnya makanan doank yang bisa di fusion segala*. Anyhow, I found lately, cowo-cowo TOO touchy with their feminine sides. Gw tau 3 lelaki, yang diputusin cewenya, do this ridicoulus things, that, pas gw putus ama mantan engga sampe segitunya.
1. dengerin lagu Jay Chow yang intinya, "Huhuhuhu, kenapa lo putusin gw... gw masi sayang ama elo.. i cant forget about you" and all other sappy things you can think of. Sambil kepalanya tergantung-gantung letoy.
1. BT kalo namanya engga dititipin salam. Contoh: Jessi *nama khayalan* kirim sms: salam buat ana, ini, unu, holiday gw seru man!! o btw, salam juga buat si ono. Ono BT.. namanya engga penting gitu kesannya, disebutinnya belakangan.
2. Demen banget gossip. Kalah cewe. 1st thing that was ask when meet me: "so, any new gossip happening??" How am I supposed to know?! I'm close to anti social person man.
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Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Older vs Younger Dudes
Or girlssss.. Lebi pilih mana, to have a younger boyfriend, or older boyfriend??? Kan sekarang lagi jaman tuh get a toy boy, macem Asthon & Demi, trus si Madonna ama cowo nya, sapa tau la namanya. Seumur-umur gw cuma pacaran ama cowo yang lebi tua, so, I dont know how does it feel pacaran ama cowo yang lebi muda. But anyway, I've heard or experienced...
Older
Enaknya, bakalan di baby in terus.. Di manja-manja, dan disayang-sayang. Kalo lebi tua, da kerja, asoy geboy bisa dijajanin pula. Huhauhauhau.But! They think they are so superior, and you are so little so obviously (in his mind anyway) he's smarter than you. Kan.. he's older.. living longer life than you, experienced more than you. The problem start pas kalo jadian uda lama. Si cewe juga uda grow a bit, dan engga jadi bego-bego amat seperti dulu, but of course kalo cewenya emang dari sononya da bego, ya hoki laki nya. She can be his FOREVER ego boost. Anyway, the not so bego girls, mulai "oo ternyata ini begini dan itu begitu...". Engga usa lagi the dude have to tell her stuffs, she knows already. Kalo cowonya engga error, he accepts the fact that MAYBE the girl actually able to grasp on SOME concepts more accurate than him. Tapi yang rada mencong-mencong, "the" alpha male... I think the idea will be too overwhelming to him to even picture it in his brain. If he got any.
Younger
Cocok buat cewe-cewe yang demen take care others. Stereotype nya buat cewe-cewe yang punya dede lelaki. Or older sister la. Ato tu cewe emang jiwa keibuan nya sangat besar, jadinya pengen ngurusin orang mulu bawaannya, layaknya ibu-ibu (loh?). On the down side, kadang-kadang lelaki ini masi childish, in some way romatic, in some way annoying. Kadang-kadang masi too loud, masi demennya maen, padahal sang cewe biological clock is ticking very loud in the background. But obviously, the guy is far from ready to make the clock calm down a bit. Dan selebihnya, harap fill in, since I have no experience in this field!Layaknya sterotype.. Gw se prefer the older one. Hehehe. Secara gw anak bontot, kakak-kakak lebih tua jauh semuanya, I much prefer getting pampered. But then again, ada cowo yang lebih muda yang dewasa *so they said*. So, I keep my mind open. Not that it will gonna affect anything. Haha. So which one do you prefer?
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Friday, June 19, 2009
Dude, why are you so lame?
Heya, fellas
Tau deh, sekarang namanya jaman teknologi. Apa2 perlu pake komputer, perlu pake internet. Research di library di tengah tumpukan buku2 dekil dan berdebu? Basi. Telpon pake telkomsel daripada nge-PING pake Blackberry? Basi.
Tapi beberapa cowok bukannya make internet untuk kegiatan yg bermutu (such as creating a blog *wink*) tapi malah make internet buat bikin pick up line yg tadinya lumayan, jadi ga mutu.
Dulu kalau ada cowok ngajak kenalan, biasanya mereka nanya: “Hey, can I get your number so we can get to know each other better?” With the right smile, the right look, the right shoes, sipppp....
Tapi sekarang, makin jarang aja cowok yg minta nomor telp cewek pas kenalan. Kalimat yg paling tipikal these days malah: “Hey, what’s your facebook?”
Gah! WTF is this? Cupu. Culun. Pengecut. Ngapain lo minta2 facebook gw? Yg ada ntar lo bisa tau nama lengkap gw, temen2 gw siapa aja, gw baru ngapain kemarin malem, gw mau ngapain besok. Ngasih tau facebook gw k lo sama aja kayak ngundang lo jadi stalker.
At least kalau gw ngasih nomor hp gw ke lo, tapi besokannya gw jitak pala ngutuk diri nyesel karena setelah ngobrol 5 menit I realize I’d rather watch the grass grow than listen to you talk, gw bisa dengan gampangnya nyuekin hp gw stiap kli liat nomor lo on the display. Kalau lo mulai aneh2 sok pake unknown number, gw tetep dgn gampangnya bisa press NO in the middle of a conversation. I know it’s rude, but hey, I don’t have time to listen to you babble about random shit for half an hour.
Lha klo lo tau nama asli gw dari facebook? That’s it, I’m dead. Lo bisa nyari2 nomor gw, alamat gw, nama mak babe sepupu sodara secicit setemen sekampung gw dari Yellow Pages or, even easier, my friend list.
And I KNOW you’re gonna stalk around my albums to see how I look like in all different situations while you decide whether I’m hot enough.
Oh, please. If you don’t have the balls to ask for a number and opt for an easy "add as a friend" button instead, don’t bother.
LAME.
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Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Dude Milenium
As I mentioned, gw baru pinda negara.. Gw pinda, disebabkan lelakiku. Aka, gw nyamperin dia. And just recently as well, gw dapet kerja baru di sini. Da 1st week gw di sini, gw di rumah ngga ngapain2, so I don't mind doing the house work for him. Clean, laundry, cook and so on and so on.
Anyhow... my point is.....
Dudes ages ago.. You know, they live in a cave. Ugu baba ugu baba. Keluar dari cave, hunting, bunuh kanan dan kiri, kembali ke cave, bikin anak. Bini ngurusin. Bawa pulang hewan mate, bini masakin. And so on and so on....
Dudes not so long ago... They start something call industrial revolution. Trus, mulai la para lelaki berkerja. Bawa pulang duit dan tentu saja, masi bikin anak. Duit kasi bini buat belanja dan lalu masak. Anak, bini ngurusin. Habis itu lelaki lenggang kanan dan kiri. Intinya, just bring home the bacon and thats about it, ya all. Basicly doesn't change much, just more civilised.
Dudes now. They expect the same. Bikin anak, pulang kasi bini duit trus habis itu lenggang kaki. But wait, gimana kalo sang bini bekerja juga? Layaknya diriku? Kita kerja, relatively job yang sama. Yang require brain power and high stress level job. Both bring home the bacon. AND YOU STILL EXPECT THE SAME THINGS!?!?!!?!? Lelaki jaman sekarang murahan! :P Kalo dulu, at least he brings the bacon or hewan watever yang dapet dari hunt mode. Trus kita cewe-cewe kerjaannya paling cuma duduk-duduk di goa, sambil merajut or what ever they do in the goa those days. Engga kudu lari-lari kanan kiri bawa tombak beracun (teracuni otak gw ama TV ne) Sekarang, yea.. dudes still bring the bacon. But so do girls. So, expect less. Do more please.
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Sunday, June 14, 2009
Dude's Palm
Gw engga tau de bakalan diomelin ama yang punya site apa engga, apa bakalan di ban. BUT, I'm gonna try and write it nevertheless :P Ndu, kalo terlalu *ehem* apus da. Pasrah gw.
I'm gonna sexed up this blog a bit, if anyone don't mind. *evil grin* I'm gonna share my sexual education to the world out there. Hohoho. Pengetahuan ini sangat penting, terutama untuk cewe-cewe. Well, menurut gw doank kali ya.
Di suatu hari, salah satu temen gw yang gila bilang ama gw: "Do you know.. you can estimate the size and shape of man *manhood* by looking at their palm?"
Hmmm... How you ask? :P
KATANYAAAA..
1. kalo cowo tangannya gede, so does his lil brother. and vice versa.
2. kalo jarinya lentik-lentik, berarti beep beep nya kurus, so kalo gendut-gendut - thus it will be likewise.
3. The length will be from the middle finger down to the base of the palm. Approximately.
Dan dia bilang, SUDAH TERBUKTI. Mind you, ini more than one person has clarified and said this estimation theory has proven. It has changed my entire outlook when I see a man's palm :P How about you? Huahuahuhaua.
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Eyes and Hotpants
Pakaian wajib gw sehari-hari adalah, celana pendek dan kaos. Atau sebutan seksi nya ... hotpants and blouse. Tau donk nyamannya pake shorts? apalagi cuaca lagi superb panas. Gak ada maksud untuk mengundang sama sekali. Kalo gw mau ngundang, pasti ngirim undangan. Tapi itu loh kalo pake hotpants, susah banget mau bikin lawan bicara (dudes) fokus karena Matanya jelalatan!
*pandang mata gw 2 detik*
*telinga shut down* lalu
*pandang kaki gw 3 detik*
....dan berulang-ulang...
Kenapa yah mata nya itu gak bisa dicontrol?
Padahal udah sering liat cewek naked juga (misal istri sendiri ato di bokep). Coba deh guys latih mata anda... kalo kebetulan ada lawan bicara kamu seorang cewek yang pake hotpants, tutup mata anda! Dan buka telinga lebar2.
Jangan kampungan, okay?
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Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Dude's Pride
I'm BACK! Setelah gw pindahan dan settle ke negara dan kota baru, I'm ready to roll again. Anyhow, gw dari pertama selalu pengen ngomongin soal man's pride. Ego lelaki yang sudah terkenal. In a good dose, I think it's actually make the particular species very hot. In an excess, errr.. Nothing good if done excessively.
Example ONE. Tau kan yang namanya eye toy? 5 taon yang lalu, so called eye toys lagi boom boom get banget kan ya.. So, I get one. Maen bersama lelakiku. Secara kamar gw sempit, gw berlutut di ranjang dan dia berdiri. For eye toy yang penting muka doank ada ketangkep ma kamera, selebihnya lo begerak ke kanan dan ke kiri suka-suka lo. Menyedihkannya kalo eye toy, muka lo ilang dari kotak muka dia (ga ketangkep kameranya, so you basicly cannot move your face around), langsung engga bekerja your character. ANYWAY, kita maen lomba lari. I was winning. Gw da menggerakkan tangan gw secepat mungkin (dengan gaya orang berlari gitu.. biarpun gw berlutut). And then suddenly!! I felt someone's hand on my shoulder and push me, made me fall to my bed. Since muka gw ilang dari kamera, character gw jadinya berenti. Ya, dan dia trus berlari loh (pura-puranya), dan menang (lah gw da jato) -_-' KIASU to the fullest oey! (engga mo kala, rd.)
Example TWO. Ketika saya muda... lebi muda dari sekarang.. gw demen banget maen pool. Setiap hari. I can spend 4 hours at least everyday. Aseli, gw rasa tu tempat pool kaya gara-gara gw. Anyway, ini cowo pertama kali mo maen ama gw.
Me: "Are you good?"
Him: "I think so. Well, I dont recall any girl beat me in pool"
Me: (wa, jago donk ya ni orang, kudu maen serius ne gw)
He lost (lah dia engga jago sama sekali gitu loooooooooo). Trus bete. engga mo maen ama gw lagi. SORE LOSER!!!!!
Jadi either, engga mo kala or engga bole kala. Againts women ya. Gw ada satu lagi mala temen cowo engga suka gw tease. Tapi kalo temen cowonya yang tease dia, exactly the same thing, it's ok. I like to hang out with guys, karena kan kalo lelaki bisa maen ceng-cengan, ejek-mengejek, trus ketawa-ketiwi. Kalo ama cewe, kan itu bagian sayang menyanyang, curhat-curhatan dan sejenisnya (almost to none my girfriends I can tease around). I need to release my anger someway donk (seakan gw punya temen lelaki cuma for lash out. hohoho). Kalo engga bisa gw tease, apa serunya gw hang out ama dia?
Gw masi banyak banget examples yang menyebalkan tentang this ego of man. Sometime, I stroke this side of man to my advantage.
Example:
Me: "o gosh, you're so nice and toit (tight, rd.)" -
Dude: "(tersipu-sipu) Hehehe. Iya donk. Look (show off his muscle)
Me: "UuuuUUU" (Sambil pegang-pegang)
Dude: *demen gw pegang*
HUAUHAUHAUHUA
So....Dude, please put your ego in the right dose, in the right time and in the right situation. FOR FULL EFFECT. for your own good.
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Monday, June 1, 2009
The Phone Dude
Tadi pagi gw ngantri di Teller BCA. Alangkah bahagia nya gw wktu tau in the same room ada seorang pria yg kira2 bisaaaa lah gw date. And he queed right behind me. I never love queeing as much as today! In my imagination gw bisa ..................... pura-pura pingsan ....... dan jatoh ke belakang............................. annnnnd he catches me........................ ngasih napas buatan ............. mouth to mouth .................... etc etc.. HAHAHAHA. (This is not the way I plan to write this post .. melenceng abesshh..).
Okeh okeh kembaliii ke laptop,, so he was on the phone lah cerita nya .. antrian yg lumayan panjang.. dan gw berharap doi segera hang up the phone and minjem pena ama cew yg di depan nya ........ which is PINKLAYDEE getho loh! (Duh Ping! enough with ur fantasy!)
After minutes passing by ... gw nguping ... at first gw pkr neh cow lagi diteror sm seseorang temen lama.. ngomongin komentar2 di facebook, etc etc .. boring boring ... .. gw udah ganti posisi berdiri gw dari gaya flirting sampe ke gaya jutek .. and he's still on that bloody PHONE! Soon enough I could pretend falling asleep and still ... jatoh ke belakang (ngarep!).
Tiba-tiba doi blg : "I swear! I called u last night at 6.30 precisely."
Wooww... bahagia gw akhirnya doi beranteman jg sama cew bawel di telpon itu.
Tapi a minute later doi malah sibuk comforting si cew bawel. Then my whole wall comes tumbling down............T.T........he's courting her.
Lesson of the day is Cowok yg lagi courting itu :
*bae'
*nga pelit pulsa (making IDD call pulak itu)
*Suka ngasih perhatian yg berlebih2 kpd target
*merelakan conversation nya jadi konsumsi publik
To sum up my analysis : this dude is worth to keep :)
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Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Hot dudes - Makhuk langka
Or shall I say girls. Kenapa fontnya warnanya merah? Karena I wanna show you some hot dudes. Gw melihat ke kanan dan ke kiri. Atas dan bawa. Engga perna ada gitu yang gw liat cowo-cowo di sekitar gw yang macamnya seperti ini:
Or seperti ini:
Mengapa cowo yang hot bangeth bangeth seperti ini jarang banget ya? Yang badannya ok. Yang mukanya bikin meleleh. Sering gw liat cewe cakep. Manies, etc. Tapi jarang liat cowo yang bikin gw lumer. I WANT ONE!! *scream like bf doesnt exist*. What do you think girls? Apa mungkin gw kurang keluar or bergaul, jadinya jarang liat cowo hottie? Apakah di sekitar elo banyak cowo cakep berceceran? Please let me know where you hang around, and I shall come and pick up those dudes. hohohoho.
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Friday, May 22, 2009
Body part
In my life I have 3 very very good male friends. Yang kocak, geblek, ga mo kala, overly protective and I love to bits. One of them is my bf. And the other 2, kayaknya uda ga anggep gw cewe. Dan mereka tu suka ngoce-ngoce hal-hal yang engga penting banget, even though I am around. One day this question come up (from the dodgiest of all, you know who you are!:P): "So, are you leg, boobs or bum guy?"
What are we? Consist only of body part? Other things doesn't count? *shallow dudes: part 2* Btw, I've heard this question TWICE loh, by different group of male friends.
Engga perna denger gw, cewe nanya each other: "Kalo lo ngeliat cowo, dari apanya? Leg, boobs, or bum?" That's just sound so wrong. Gw perna denger someone that comment soal cowo body part, which is betis nya lelaki. Only once.
Dan dia lelaki juga.
He's gay.
Yang jadi cewenya.
FYI. Menurut dia.. cowo yang betisnya gede, is very attractive. Secara itu indicate yang punya betis gede itu kuat standing up for a very long time. If you know what I mean. Huahuahuhauhaua (*evil laugh*, since I can imagine cowo-cowo yang straight mukanya begimana). Thus, I conclude this question of body part cuma applicable buat cowo. Engga yang straight, engga yang mencong bencong, semuanya sama oey!
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Monday, May 18, 2009
Favourite thing.
Gw punya questions for the dudes. Do you have some item - in form of textile/clothes, yang di keep padahal tampang tu barang sangatlah gembel?? Atau punya kaos berbiji-biji, terutama yang dari concert apa band yang lo demen banget pas smp/sma, lagi jaman-jaman rock atau gothic-gothic an, tapi uda engga pantes lagi dipake sekarang (since you've grown up already, age wise at least)?? Uda engga pantes, engga dipake lagi, tapi engga mau dibuang atau kasi ke siapa kek yang bakalan pake. Karena memories attached to it?
Gw find that dudes tend to keep some garment karena they think, kalo kaos "ih, yang warna nya uda memudar gini uda comfy trus sekarang lagi trend kan? retro-retro gitu." Alasan. I know the real reason is because you find it very comfy regardless how it looks like. Iya kalo emang artisticly memudar, kalo memudar gara-gara dicuci entah berapa ribu kali?? ada bolong di bagian tertentu? I've got a story to dish out about this. (mentang-mentang cowo gw engga ngerti iniii.. hohohohoho)
My bun pake boxer. And there's this particular boxer. Mungkin dulu warnanya putih. Tapi uda jadi rada-rada abu-abu. Trus uda rada tembus pandang. Lining di bawanya uda kerobek separo, ampe tu lining uda ke dengkul. Karetnya uda give, jadi suka kedodoran. Tiap gw ngeliat dia pake tu boxer bener-bener sakit mata la ya. When I notice this boxer, qta jalan belom begitu lama, jadi gw engga ngomong apa-apa. In a way for him to chuck away that boxer, gw pikir dia kurang boxer, gw beliin dia 1 dozen boxer. EH, gw masi liat dia pake tu stupid ugly amit-amit boxer. After sometime, I think it is time for me to take action.
Bun: Hun, did you see my white cotton boxer?
Me: Yes.
Bun: Where is it?
Me: There, on the bench (gw jadiin topok - of course, after I wash it laaaa)
Bun: WHAT?? *horror* that's the comfiest boxer I have hun!! It's nice to go sleep with.
Me: Well, it's ruined my eyes way too long.
Hehehe.
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Friday, May 15, 2009
Men are Dogs ~ U think u know why?
Sering ketika berantem, secara nga sadar cewe suka makiin cowo2 dgn sebutan ‘dasar AnJinG lo!’
Atau ketika digodain cowo2 nga penting di jalan .. ‘dasar keparat, anjing lo’. Dikit2 .. anjing anjing anjing ..
Hehe, pernah terlintas alasannya? Apakah lo pikir cewe hanya sekedar melampiaskan emosi dgn sebutan itu sepertinya kita bisa bales dendam? Cetak rekor 1-1?
FYI, gw suka banget sama doggies … bahkan di facebook gw, deskripsi yg harusnya gw isi dgn kalimat2 narsis nan keren, gw isi dgn my passion with dogs as pets. Call me weird..I don't care.
Setiap hari gw nyempetin waktu untuk maen2 sama doggie gw. Gw hapal banget sifat2 nya. Keburukan dia .. kebaikan dia .. kegatelan dia .. I miss him even when I'm with him. Aneh? Nga donk, dulu gw jg suka pny feeling yg spt itu terhadap mantans. (Aren't us girls sweet???) Tapi baru hari ini gw sadar kalo sifat2 nya doggie gw itu ada di human being too. Here's the examples :
....ibaratnya seekor DOGgie neh, the harder we pull the leash, the stronger he pushes to be free. Semakin dikekang, semakin kuat si cowo akan memberontak. Iya kan? Hayo ngaku..pdhl us girls cuman being protective. Takut lo ilang.
..namun biar bandel-bandel gitu lo tetep suka di patting. Suka dibilangin “Good Dog”. Suka diGaruk2in leher nya .. perutnya.. and my dog will lick me upside down, left to right. Basah dah gw.. *wink*
Man Man … your format of ‘territorial marking’ is nebar benih dimana-mana. Wait I have a word for that .. (duh lupa). You may think it's COOL and and ... JANTAN abis. Tapi sbnrnya lo udah contribute to this overpopulated country tauk. Mending kalo DNA nya bagus, tapi kalo DNA nya bejat? Lo udah ciptain anak2 yg bejat jg.
Back to the point eniwei whenever wherever you(or my dog) see a bitch … you go "ugh baybeh can’t help it, gotta let it .. gotta release it...." Dunia jadi gelap, gak perduli apapun, langsung maen tikam aja..nga ngeh whether itu bitch udah nga available. That's my dog.
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To my fellas girls : Man … indeed resembles a dog. Their loyalty is unpredictable. To some breeds, no matter how good u feed and groom them, if another bitch pass by, she’s gonna get hitched. Kayanya yg ini udah lumrah banget deh, satu male doggie bisa mate dengan berpuluh2 female doggies. Cowo jg begitu bukan? Suka punya selingkuhan ...
So, now u know why u call them dogs?
Based on my theory, men are born with dogs' nature. Hate to admit it ... No matter what, we still can't live without them. :)
nb : I can't believe it took me so long to come up with this theory.
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Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Angel vs Squirrel
Di hari yang kelam di my side of my world (ujan es batu bo), otak gw tiba-tiba muncul tipe lelaki yang bisa membantu meng-identify, dia jatuh di category apa. Over generalisation, cowo itu ada 2 tipe dengan transisi. Satu angel dude (cowo baeeeeeeeeeeeeeee banget), dan squirrel dude (squirrel = bajing**, fill in the blank).
Angel dude
Ini tipe cowo yang gentleman abies tanpa maksud. emang dari sononya bae. bisa disalahkan dengan tebar pesona, padahal engga maksud. Yang kalo ngajakin pegi, mo clubbing kek apa cuma keluar, dikarenakan he thinks you're a potential good friend, not because he wants to get inside your pants. Setia, perhatian, pengertian, tapi suka bolot, engga tau how to treat a girl. Engga begitu ngerti gimana caranya luluhin cewe. Or to be romantic. Gw ada beberapa teman cowo seperti ini, yang sampe gw kasi tau engga bole baeeeee banget ama cewe yang bukan cewe nya sendiri, kalo engga cewe dia beneran bisa cape ati. Ato engga, itu cewe yang dibaein salah kaprah.Yang diputusin ama cewenya karena dia terlalu bae (kasian ga seeee).
Squirrel dude
Selalu bae dengan maksud. Mulutnya manieeesssss banget. Bikin cewe mudah meleleh. But full of bull, aka banyak boongnya. Yang patut di jauhi, tapi bingungnya selalu the ones that get the girls. Gonta-ganti cewe seperti ganti kolor. I reckon because they seems edgy. Ato mungkin chicks like the idea of menakluklan squirrel dudes? Ato emang rencana dari sononya cuma buat maen-maen? What do you think? I know one ultimate squirrel. Dan gw sempet kepikiran untuk go for him. Secara temen-temen cewe gw yang perna coba, bilang dia itu jago banget. On bed. Hm..... Hohoho. Tapi I don't have enough guts to go for it, 1st of all, karena dia pasti membawa banyak kuman dari segala macam negara, 2nd of all, bisa digaruk ama nyak gw ama garukan taman (SO GATAL NGANA EH!!! *nyak gw menado).
Transition period
Angel to Squirrel >> Ini anak bae-bae yang depressi engga dapet cewe, karena as I mentioned above, squirrel dude meraup semua cewe-cewe. Jadi coba terlihat edgy.. dengan merokok, yang udah minta (engga beli, kan baru mulai...), trus cuma diisep trus dibuang, engga dihirup ke dalam. BUANG-BUANG ROKOK ORANG! Yang sok-sok ngajak mari minum, trus minum cuma satu shot/gelas, langsung tepar. Ato ga, yang try to be hot, tapi dandannya menjijikan (kemeja dibuka, bulu dadanya lari ke mana-mana), trus ngomongnya not smooth, tapi sleazy.
Squirrel is a born. Not a made.
Squirrel to Angel >> Yang trully squirrel, never gonna happen. Yang happen, biasanya ketemu cewe yang bener-bener bisa lurusin dia. Masi suka flirt-flirt tanpa alasan yang jelas, just for fun. Masi suka keluar bermain-main (minum, dll) kadang-kadang. Tapi karena udah "ketangkep" jadinya terkontrol.
What you think? :D
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So fellas, jangan sampe ketinggalan update2 teori terbaru ya. Subscribe ke blog ini buat selalu diupdate
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Cleaning Time...
Well, this is generally speaking ya.. Mengapa lelaki itu males banget beberes? Ini mungkin lebih applicable buat dudes yang tinggal di luar negeri ya, di mana pembantu itu extinct species yang mahalnya amit amit. It's like:
(Typical scenario)
Girl: Say, beresin donk tu baju
Dude: Bisa beresin ga?
Girl: (Whaaatttt!?!? Gw pacar apa pembantu!! *emosi*) Engga, beresin sendiri napa?
Dude: Kamu tu ya.. Dimintain tolong aza susah banget. Kamu tu sayang ga si sebenarnya sama aku?
Girl: (cari ribut ni orang..) Kayaknya uda sering si aku beresin, kamu sekali kali napa?
Dude: Tapi kamu kan cewe aku...
Good point. Back to original point. Pacar apa pembantu? Pacar rangkap pembantu? Hadouken trus dilempar dari balcony apartment. Mind you, I'm not the super clean and tidy type. Relatively wajar buat cewe deh ya. Atau malah under the normal girl standard sometime (yang pasti keadaan di atas, NOT my own experience:P). Asal ga berantakan, baju, barang dll di tempatnya, engga berdebu-debu banget, I think that should be fine...
As I said before.. engga semuanya memang cowo males beberes. Flatmate gw bersihnya ampun-ampun. Tiap minggu dustingnya pake tissue basahnya Johnson&Johnson bo. Biar hygenic katanya. Maybe he's mistaken the table with baby's bottom... Baju gw yang gw lempar di sofa dilipetin pula. I think, dapet cowo yang kayak gini susah juga. Karena terlalu bersih dan rapi, mau up to his standard juga bisa ngos-ngosan. Kecuali kalo cewenya sama clean craze juga. Compatible deh ya...
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So fellas, jangan sampe ketinggalan update2 teori terbaru ya. Subscribe ke blog ini buat selalu diupdate
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Sorry seems to be the easiest word.
Titlenya dari lagu "Sorry..... seems to be the hardest word..." Well, not so for most dudes I think. Well, gw baru baca this article about a guy when they say:
"I'm sorry."
When a guy says this, there's a good chance that he's more confused than contrite. "I've apologized to tons of women, and not once was I perfectly clear on what I'd done wrong, I was, however, totally clear on the fact that I was expected to apologize."
Sometimes, something that so obviously menyebalkan buat cewe-cewe, para lelaki has no idea, why it makes us so upset. Lemot? Another insensitive aspect of man? Selama gw berantem ama sang bun (bf), dia engga perna bilang "I'm sorry for what I did", dia bilangnya "I'm sorry for making you feel that way." Berarti intinya dia engga merasa kalo dia itu salah. Engga berasa kalo apa yang dia lakukan or said, itu bikin gw naek darah (At this point, gw rasa-rasa pengen gigit-gigit tu orang).
And this phenomena happens ama temen gw juga. Dia ada berantem gede ama cowonya, so as act of truce, cowonya kirim bouqet of flowers to her workplace. Ada kartunya "I'm sorry, I love you". Langsung lumer donk temen gw (cewe mana yang engga bakalan langsung jadi jelly with such a romantic gesture). Eh, pas cowonya ditanya later on ama cewenya, "Do you actually know why i got really angry?", cowonya bengong. tut tut tut. so............. the fight continued.
If you don't even know why we got so upset, then there's a very big chance later on you gonna repeat your mistake dan berantem lagi gara-gara hal yang sama. In that case, mengapa engga take times and energy untuk mengerti or at least engga usa ngerti da why we chicks see it as WRONG, asal tau aza what you did wrong. Jadi engga bakalan ada repetition in the future? YES, YOU, LELAKI, I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU!!
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So fellas, jangan sampe ketinggalan update2 teori terbaru ya. Subscribe ke blog ini buat selalu diupdate
Friday, May 1, 2009
Dude - Insensitive
Mungkin udah terlalu banyak information out there where ada over generalisation, kalo cewe ngomong iya, can be yes can be no. Kalo ngomong engga, can be yes can be no. (Kasian d lo para cowo2, yes I do feel sorry buat cowo yang dapet cewe TERLALU confusing:P).
BUT, not all girls like that, most girls masi sensible being. Sometimes, menurut gw, you dudes need to put the answer into context. Yea, I know... You're dudes are not mind reader (secara cowo gw selalu ngomongnya: "Hunny!! I'm not bloody mind reader!"). It's not like the dudes in chick theory bilang: Cewe2 suka nuntut cowo2 buat baca pikiran nya. But at least body language reader? Face reader? Mood reader? Voice tone reader?
Anyhow, this discussion started.. One day in my lala land. Gw dan lelaki tercinta (Bun) memutuskan untuk jalan-jalan ke Gold Coast via Brisbane. Anyhow, it was around 38°-40°C.
Humid like hell.
Matahari bersinar cerah meriah.
Gosong banget-banget.
Engga ada mobil.
Kudu jalan.
Panas-panas.
Cape.
Lengket.
Laper.
In short, perfect mood banget.. -_-' So, setelah jalan sepanjang hari, come dinner time. Ada restaurant sepanjang jalan kenangan di China Town. Dia tanya gw mo yang mana, gw bilang mana aza. I don't mind.
1st resto
Bun: How about this one?
Me: I dont mind.
Bun: Hm.. ok, let's have a look at other ones
2nd resto
Bun:How about this one?
Me: I dont mind
Bun: Hm... (dan berjalan ke resto berikutnya. Btw, ini resto semuanya samping2an, berderet2, ada kali around 20-30 resto sepanjang jalan dan jual relatively makanan yang sami mawon)
3rd resto
Bun: How about this one?
Me: I..DONT.. MIND!! (setenga teriak dan melotot)
Bun: OK OK! We eat here then! *ngedumel sendiri* (dengan tampang nyolot dan menyebalkan)
Udah dibilang dari pertama, I don't mind.. Just choose. And hurry. Cant you see my state being? Kalo gw engga teriak, mo sampe resto ke berapa baru dia decide? And then you dude say, qta cewe-cewe moody.
Put into context donk guys.. Be sensitive and look for the signs!
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So fellas, jangan sampe ketinggalan update2 teori terbaru ya. Subscribe ke blog ini buat selalu diupdate
Thursday, April 30, 2009
I spy with my little eye...
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Dude - First Class Citizen (?!)
As mentioned before, gw mo discuss about double standard society. Coba de ya, ini just some of my examples yang gw find intriguing (feel free to add). In the term of:
1. Gonta ganti pacar
Dude: Wa.. Jago bener tu cowo. Kudu learn some of his tricks ne.
Chick: Wa.. Ho. *beep beep beep* (some other censored names called)
2. Rokok
Dude: Acceptable. Normal. Even kadang-kadang di view sebagai: keren/manly.
Chick: Cewe engga bener.
3. Jago gaming
Dude: Normal. Paling banter dikatain: geek
Chick: Ih, aneh. Paling parah dikatain: freak (gw perna gilaaaaaaa -_-')
4. High level of alcohol consumption
Dude: "Damn.. Tu org kuat bener. Salut gw man. Masi berdiri after so many shots and no jack pot."
Chick: *yet again* cewe engga bener, cewe gampang, dll.
5. House cleaning
Dude: Fall into category "doing something extra"
Chick: Sudah seharusnya
6. Pacarnya not ok. Diri sendiri not too bad.
Dude: Koq tu cowo bisa mau ya? *bertanya-tanya*
Chick: Ah, pasti cowonya kaya.
7. Chase career
Dude: Sudah seharusnya
Chick: What for? Ntar kalo hamil, punya anak juga harus slow down. Jagain anak, urusin keluarga. *regardless even when cewenya earn more, smarter, have a bigger prospect of career advancement*
8. Ngejar cewe/cowo
Dude: Ya kudu la cowo ngejar cewe. Sudah kodrat. Kalo engga dapet.. Ya, yang penting uda usaha
Chick: Da kegatelan kli ya tu cewe? Sini gw garukin pake garpu BBQ. Kalo engga dapet.. merendahkan harga diri dan martabat.
Why o why? Are we chicks second class citizen in this world?? Maybe this why: The Problem of the Hot Chicks answer: since something society's view as keren or normal if done by dudes, jadi PROBLEM if done by chicks (whether hot or not). Done ama yang not aza diributin, gimana done ama yang hot. Emosi emosi emosi. Padahal uda emansipasi. Women can do what men can. Emang, some things maybe men are better in. Like reading the map (but then again, ada GPS) and parallel parking (bias opinion, based on personal shortcoming).
Personally, untungnya my other half, even though Asian, dia lahir di luar. Jadi engga gitu-gitu amat pikirinnya soal hal-hal yang di atas. Hell, he's better in cleaning and cooking bo. Pas gw tanya, how about one day gw earn more than him, dia bilang, bagus donk, dia bisa nyante-nyante maen game di rumah, gw kerja (swap place, lol). What I try to say, engga semua orang emang punya pikiran yang di mentioned above. Tapi bagi orang-orang yang masi pikirannya stuck di medieval era, which is banyak bener (yg gw tau anyway), this view is still held high. NOT FAIR!!
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Monday, April 27, 2009
Shallow Dude Theory
This is my first blog writing here.. Hopefully, it’s enjoyable :) I’m interested buat nulis di sini since men always have their ways to keep fascinating me. Mentally. Physically :P
Anyhow, 1st idea menulis something about dudes and their clan muncul waktu weekend kemaren ini, pas gw ada jalan with my male friend. Dia currently single and “self declared” not looking. (yea, rite. Ngomongnya doank, I think. Secara engga ada yang mao aza :P)
Anyway... we got into this blonde vs brain conversation.
Dude: Bisa pinter dan cakep ga?
Me: Engga. Engga ada di pilihannya gitu loh!
Dude: Hm.... Cakep tapi bego aza de kalo gt...
Me: (Dalam ati.. OMG, your point has gone hit rock bottom, klo bisa jadi minus. Pantesan not looking..)
Hef: “ Hi, I’m Hugh Hefner”
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Sunday, April 19, 2009
Wanna play?
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Cowok Plintar Plintir = Banci!
The Dudes at Chick Theory always complaining about us girls being uncool by 'tarik ulur'. At one point, it may be exhausting for them. But what the hell do they lose? Just some time right?! That's no big deal...
Now I'm goin to point out dudes yang nga bisa make up his mind, sedikit persamaan dengan 'tarik ulur' bukan?
So there is a dude hu givs u tons of signals. U always go out together. Dimana ada kamu, disitu ada dia. He plays with ur hair. He's like ur full-time driver. He tells u everything...BUT his feelings, of course. After several months, u thought maybe IT'S ON. Like lo udah jadian unofficially. Coz lo yakin bener, even semua temen2 lo udah nganggep both of u are a perfect couple. Like DEFINITELY.
After it goes on for a several months, dia masih belom nembak lo. Don't wonder so much gals. Cuman ada dua kemungkinan kenapa dia nga nembak lo :
ONE-he has no balls (which is tolerable)
TWO-he's caught on love bi-polar disorder, hari ini suka, besok biasa aja.
Urgh plin plan banget! And u know what? Sikap kaya' begini is totally intolerrable. Cowok ini udah makes u feel u're his everything and nothing at the same time. Yang mulai? Dia. Yang bikin lo fall in loph? Dia. Yang bakal bikin lo patah hati ketika dia bilang "gw cuman nganggep lo temen" juga DIA! JERK!
Girls, don't fall for this kinda of trap, aight? Enak di dia. Sakit di kita.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Cowok : x - rated
Excuse me, uhm tp gw mau sex-it-up a lil bit at this post..hehe.. So kids under-age, if u're reading this, click ctrl+x right away, aight? Dun be notti!
Gw curious nih.. Gmn ya cara nya nentuin karakter2 cowok di kategori x ini.
So i'm gonna give it a few shots here based on my chicks fwen's lil stories.
Cowok tipe sex-maniac :
asal di kmr lgs deh tangan n monyong nya kmn2. Maunya 3 x a day. 7 days a week.
Cowok virgin :
Hmmmphhh how do we tell a dude's virginity yah? Secara walopun mrk nga pnh ngalamin se-engga2nya udh ntn bokep bertaon2. Jadi can't really tell deh. Unless mukanya over-excited...lol dsr kampungan.
Cowok yg sok gentleman tapi ngebet:
First of, sll dimulai dr kissing2an dulu. Trus klu udh mulai steamy....dy stop! And dgn muka 50% serius 50% genit ... ask : 'are u sure?' (and ngarep ceweknya gak ngomong apa2 tp lgs strip down).
Cowok yg tertarik dgn sesama jenis:
he sees naked chick as a form of art. Maybe pohon jambu malah. Nothing a tree can do can turn him on.
Anyone cares to add?
Cowok Pelit - Yuckz!
Udah kodratnya kali ya cowok pays for everything and menhujani kita kita ceweks dengan segudang kado-kado manis. Bukan cuman bayarin makan (dimana dia yg biasanya juga makan jauh lebih banyak dari kita ceweks) hehuehe.
Nah pnh nga ngalamin : kalo lagi nge-date di mall, dan nga sengaja kita ceweks ngeliat tote bag yang superb gorgeous. And and secara nga sadar, kita udah drooling di depan etalase dengan mulut menganga…….trus cowok kita malah nyeret kita pergi dari butik itu…and say..
Dude : duhhh, tas kamu itu udah buanyak buanget babe
Chick : but ..but.. many is never enough!
Dude : tapi 2 minggu yang lalu kamu baru beli tas kan?
Chick : SO? Masuk aja yuk, nanya harganya ajah, plisssss!
Dude : FINE!
Chick : Mba, tasnya berapaan?
Mba : Rp. 500.000,-
Dude : BUSYETT..
Chick : sshhhh…haduhh pengennnnn…
Dude : pek go ya mba! (→ pek go / seratus limpul)
Mba : (dalam ati : njritt.. PELIT amat neh cowok)
Chick : ini di MALL hun, bukan PASAR PAGI
Dude : dua ratus deh gw bayar CASH
Mba : *smirk* (udah nawar, mamer lagi, emank gw blg bs CREDIT apa?)
Dude : besok cari aja di mangdu ya babe
Chick : (cembetut deh seharian)
.. believe it or not, THIS happens a LOT di butik gw. Tipe cowok ky’ begini neh malu-maluin abisss di depan spg. Pake nawar lagi udah tau ituh di MALL.
Come on dudes, u gotta work harder to satisfy your chicks. Bila perlu, ngamen deh sekalian..
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Cowok as Accessory
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Blog ini bakal tetep dijalanin :D
gue udah ada kontributor baru dan orangnya adalahhhhhhh......
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adek gue sendiri
HAHAHAHAHAH
no seriously, dia author yang bagus, orangnya very nice walaupun kadang a bit cynical dan critical heheheh
but I'm happy now, cuz blog ini bisa jadi jalan
have a great day, fellas. We'll run this blog soon
Monday, April 13, 2009
Pengumuman penting
gue juga down banget pas denger ini... Emmy Chen mengundurkan diri dari admin dan author dari chick-theory dan dude-theory. Praktis kontributor tetap blog ini jadi hilang.
Gue udah ajak 1 cewek lagi dari blog sebelah untuk ikut kontribusi. Dia mau tapi ga janji bisa kontribusi penuh. Sedangkan gue tau, admin blog teman-curhatku dan chick-theory ga bisa kontribusi penuh di sini (secara batangan semua).
Jadi untuk sementara project blog ini gue tahan dulu (ON HOLD) sampe gue nemu kontributor tetap. Kalo ada yang merasa qualified, boleh contact gue di ceo@forexfaculty.net. But 1 thing, persyaratan gue untuk kontributor blog ini cukup berat :)
Have a good day fellas
Sunday, April 12, 2009
cowo ≠ romantis
I just wonder about guys..
Is it so hard to be a romantic guy?
Apa cowo yang ga romantis itu ga sayang sama cewenya?
I mean, kalo sayang kan pasti kepikiran, how to make the girl happy?
Gue sampe geleng2 kalo ngeliat cowo yang ga berinisiatif, atau ga ada romantis2nya blaaazzz...
(=___=)
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
First post
blog ini akan diluncurkan minggu depan pada hari Senin, 12 April 2009
Watch out!